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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

Improving Your Appeal Factor
10 Ways to Grow Your Appeal

Let's face it---we can't all look like Hale Berry or Denzel Washington.

Still, everybody wants to be loved, desired and looked upon favorably in the dating world.

Well, here's the good news: Even if you're not considered the “whole enchilada,” you can still be a pretty appetizing dish!

For example, I've met some guys, in my singles' journey, who initially weren't “my type” but because they had certain qualities that enhanced their perceived shortcomings, we ultimately dated---and some, might I add, even resulted in good relationships, (at least for their season).

One guy was very short in stature, (much shorter than most guys I've dated). Yet, he “scored big” in the way he carried himself as a man, and his honesty.

Another guy was a construction worker with whom I had nothing in common. But, he was persistent in asking me out. And boy am I glad I eventually looked beyond his surface to discover a true gem!  This guy adored me, created magical memories, and was kind and funny beyond measure.

So whether you're looking to increase your dating odds favorably, get hitched, or  simply become more “black-book” worthy, here are ten non-surgical, non-fattening, ways to make it happen!

1) Recognize that personality counts. 
In fact, much more so that most would consider. Think about it. Haven't you ever met a guy or gal whose huge ego was a turn-off? Or someone whose gorgeous looks were diminished because they had the conversational skills of a fifth grader? Or how about the folks who monopolize conversations with one-sided testimonies as to why they're so wonderful? Get my drift?

2) Be well-rounded.
Though it's impossible to appeal to everyone, chances are the more diverse you are, the more interesting you appear to others.  For example, I pride myself in having a myriad of interests and talents, and things that are “conversation starters.” My musical tastes span from Beethoven to Billy Joel, I love to cook, I rock at karaoke, I'm an avid reader, I've had an array of jobs over the years---yada, yada, yada.

3) Don't be a whiner or a wiener!
Most of us have been treated unfairly in love and life by someone over the years.  That goes without saying.  So don't you say it, over and over, particularly in the initial stages of dating. It's a turn-off.  If your last girl was a “psycho”, or your last guy was a “jerk” it's best to share those tales with your best friend.

4) Have a good sense of humor.
Funny guys rock!  Don't believe me? Look at the chicks that most comedians get hooked up with for proof.

5) Accentuate the positive.
In other words, play to your strengths!  Do you have a winning smile? Glowing hair? Great legs? Glamorous in red? Whatever it is, capitalize on it.

6) Know how to cook.
Okay maybe it's because I'm a big foodie, but I think that whether you're a man or a woman, culinary skills are essential.  You don't have to be the next Martha Stewart, but many a “steamy date” has happened in the midst of a good home-cooked meal.  “Try it, you'll like it!”

7) Dress for success.
A “good presentation” is just as important in dating and mating as it is in business.  Cleanliness and proper fit are a must.

8) Never underestimate the importance of CLASS.
Don't gossip, use excessive “colorful language”, be cheap, or act rudely to folks providing you service. And when possible, “take the high road.”

9) Be a good listener.
Not only does it rate well with others, you just might learn somethin'!

10) Have a healthy sense of self esteem. 
Confidence attracts, while an inflated ego detracts!

Follow these 10 tips and you'll be on the road to dating success in no time. Happy travels!

Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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