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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

Are Bad Boys a Good Dating Choice?l

 “Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha' gonna' do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?!”
~ Theme Song from COPS

Admit it.

Whether it's the thug images of buff bodies from the rap videos, the jock from high school that had less than a “squeaky clean” reputation, or your big brother's rough-necked friend, you're curious.

Forbidden fruit has always been appealing, even for the astute. And it's nothing to necessarily  take a confessional for. Nor should you feel guilty.

The good news is that “bad boys” come in all colors, shapes and sizes, and different degrees of danger. Some offer good times and treasured memories, and depending upon a girl's stage and age, can be quite gratifying.

Take for instance a guy I dated many moons ago that was seven years my junior. He was sexy, cocky, courageous and daring. We met at work.  Our dating and mating only lasted for about six months, but let's just say.. it was time well spent.

But let's be clear ladies. A bad boy who likes rap music is okay. A bad boy with a rap-sheet is not.  Though there are exceptions, a “soul mate” shouldn't be a cell mate.

With that being said, here are some things to consider.

• Bad boys are typically exciting to be with. They take us out of our comfort zones and help to release our inhibitions.
  
  
• Bad boys make you feel protected and safe because they are street savvy and able to defend your honor if need be.
  
  
• Bad boys are good at making you feel special and alive. How do you think they earned their reputation?
  
  
• Bad boys make you appreciate the good guys when you meet them!
  
  
• Bad boys can mellow out with age and ultimately have good partner potential.

Still undecided? Well bad boys are not for every one. Consider them like an “acquired taste.”
But you've been warned...so tread carefully if you do indeed decide to “walk on the wild side.”

Which brings me to another topic on the male species...

WHY BOYFRIENDS ARE SOMETIMES BETTER THAN HUSBANDS!

Forget the studies that report that married folks are happier and healthier than their single peers

Don't believe the hype!

If marriage was such a state of “nirvana” there'd be fewer divorces, wouldn't you think?

Instead it's the “quality” of a relationship, not the social status that makes it worth singing about. Don't get it twisted.

Far too many women are rushing to the alter to beat “biological time clocks, pressure from family and friends, and societal expectations, when they should allow their own personal “timing”, lifestyle and love style to dictate their direction.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of “til-death-do-us-part” partnerships; when it's right, it's among life's sweetest pleasures.

But, savvy sisters should realistically recognize that at certain stages and ages, boyfriends can be a better ticket than husbands!

Here are a few reasons and seasons:

• With boyfriends there's a chance to be “courted” continuously. Often referred to as “the honeymoon stage” when newlyweds tie the knot, it typically lasts for a few months, until the novelty wears off. But, when you're dating, the fact that “ownership” has not yet been “officially established”, (and they can still be replaced), keeps the boys on their toes!
  
  
• With boyfriends you can shop til' you drop! No hiding purchases or dealing with shoppers' guilt, because the accountability is not the same. It's your pay and your say!

• Boyfriends many times are still on their best behavior during dating and mating.  This means that quite often they still endeavor to keep their looks up and their tempers down.
  
  
• With boyfriends you don't inherit their financial debts, have to deal with their less than tidy surroundings, or have the stress from relatives that leave a lot to be desired.

This food for thought ends this week's installment of Gems, hopefully you've been fed spiritually and mentally.

Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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